Asking to use a condom is so uncool. Like totally…



Boy; girl (boy ;boy) depending on your situation meet at a club. Boy gets the girl a drink and they are enjoying themselves, laughing, flicking the hair and battering eyelashes. So of course they want the night to continue so the boy invites the girl back to his for some early morning fun. Things heat up and now the hanky panky begins. Clothes come off and pause, your realise that you really should use a condom. Do you;

  1. Ask for a condom
  2. Pop out your own condom
  3. Or completely dismiss the thought and go with the flow.

From a study released by Durex last month the common answer for young people between the ages of 18-24 would be C. because they do not want to look ‘uncool’. Basically what these young people are saying is that they would rather have HIV than be uncool.

“Last week I slept with someone without using a condom. I went to the clinic, took a pill and it was sorted. It’s like catching a cold.”

“I thought HIV was a generational thing. We don’t think about HIV!”

However, after some deliberation and looking back at my younger days when sex was something cool, fun and something I should be doing just because… I realise that I too had that thinking. I never carried with me a condom, although I did regularly go for check ups, a condom was never my priority. As far as I was concerned  ‘it was the guy’s job’ .  It  was until I grew up and saw the light at the end of my vagina that I realised if I wanted the dicky I really needed to keep my vagina from falling off.

Mark Pearson is Durex Regional Brand Director:

“Young women told us that while they knew that they should insist on a condom every time, the reality is often when the moment comes, a condom isn’t used for any number of reasons. One common reason we heard was that they worried that if they insisted on a condom they’d kill the mood or put the guy off. This fear of rejection or killing the mood is a key barrier for many young women but we found out that this most often isn’t the case at all. In fact the opposite is true.”

Here’s a another quote

“There’s a fear of rejection – just wanting to make them happy.”

My reply would be how about rejection because your vagina has mini cauliflowers sprouting out of it.

Now don’t get me wrong this is not an angry post but I believe as 21st century women who want to be empowered in every aspect of our lives empowerment comes with taking responsibility for our actions. Safe sex is just not about preventing pushing out a baby in 9 months and being a single mother because you have no clue of your baby daddy’s first name. Nope, safe sex is about ensuring you keep your body happy, preventing nasties so you can go out and get laid as little or as much as you want because freedom to do what you want is empowerment.

What the study found was that young women’s minds were changed when they realised that men actually found women that were in charge of their safety and sexuality a major turn on. Without getting too feminist-y I really thought that as a modern day woman we have moved past the need for acceptance of men to more the acceptance of ourselves.

This survey, has  highlighted one of my main concerns with young people specifically women and sex. Yes, we are more sexed up, you know with every reality TV show becoming pro-sex however, whilst there has been a major push for sexual empowerment and ownership we are still lacking in serious education on sex; the good, bad and ugly. I personally blame parents and school but hey that is another post. Well done to Durex for highlighting the issue.

So let’s go back to the previous question. What would your answer be; A,B or C now?

Featured Image credit: Reddit

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