Even though I consider myself to be a reasonably sociable person, I sometimes find it hard to make truly great friends, and whenever I am in a social situation where I know no-one I find it very hard to engage and interact because I’m quite shy. In addition to this, I am a little bit of an introvert.
I admit I find it hard to make friends. Growing up I wasn’t popular in school and I was never the type of girl to instantly attract a pack of friends and bond with friends instantly. More often than not, I have always struggled with making friends and this was a fact that was frequently highlighted in my school reports. Unfortunately, more often than not, I have been in situations in my life where I have either not had any friends, or I’ve had more toxic friends. I I have lost count of the amount of so-called “friends” I’ve had to cut out of my life as a result of toxic behaviour towards me.
I always felt as though something was wrong with me because I struggled with friendships. I’ve suffered with low-self esteem, rejection and alienation so forming stable friendships is always difficult for me.
Now I realise that there is nothing wrong with me at all. I have had to learn the true meaning of friendship the hard way, but now I have expectations of what to expect from friends. In my opinion, friendship is a two-way street: I am loyal, kind, caring, supportive, committed and respectful to my friends, and I expect the same in return.
Most importantly, I have learned that when it comes to friends quality is more important than quantity. It’s not about how many friends I have, it’s about how good those friends are to me, and whether those friends support me, respect me, care for me, respect my boundaries and give me the space to be myself and thrive. It’s important to have friends who are like-minded, and understand me for who I am. I’d rather have a few true friends than a massive group of fake friends and acquaintances.
Right now I have a small group of really great friends in my hometown, and a couple of good friends at university. In total I have a few friends in my life and that’s great, because these friends are my true friends, and the best friends one can have!