Ah, the Friend Zone. A dark, dark place to be. A place that many find themselves in, and very few manage to break out of. And what is the Friend Zone? The Friend Zone, my friends, is a place you end up when you have feelings for somebody that are not reciprocated because that person just wants to be friends.
Of course, when somebody sees you as a friend, it is extremely difficult for them to ever see you as anything other than that. When somebody has been around you with their hair a mess, mascara running down their cheeks from another bad break up, it is hard for them to see you as potential boyfriend/girlfriend material. When you have been a confidant, a shoulder to cry on and a platonic friend, it is a huge leap to suddenly be the one giving somebody butterflies and having them break out in nervous sweats as they try to analyse your text messages.
So just how do you get out of the Friend Zone?
I’ll put it bluntly.
Sorry (but not really).
You see, if somebody puts you in the Friend Zone, it is probably an indicator that the pair of you are not a good march. Your rose-tinted spectacles may have temporarily convinced you otherwise, but unfortunately a relationship is about two people, and if somebody is not attracted to you in a romantic way, then you have to respect that. Perhaps it is that they don’t feel as though you would give them what they need out of a relationship, or maybe it really is as simple as them not finding you sexually attractive – and let’s face it, it doesn’t do anybody any good to be with somebody who isn’t attracted to them.
It is never a good idea to be friends with someone whom you harbour romantic feelings for, for either of you. Upon learning of your feelings, the person on the receiving end of them will at best feel guilty that said feelings aren’t reciprocated, and at worst, as though they have been cheated of a genuine friendship. They will always be suspicious about whether you are really their friend, or have a hidden agenda. They will feel awkward talking to you about people that they are attracted to or in relationships with, and they will feel as though the most innocent gestures may now become misconstrued.
As for you, the person with the unrequited love, you will have to live in a false hope for eternity, constantly wondering if today will be the day that the object of your affection suddenly realises that the two of you are meant to be. You will become jealous and possessive, secretly resenting your friend every time they flirt with someone that isn’t you, and you will make any love interests of theirs feel unwelcome and threatened, leading to your poor friend feeling suffocated and frustrated.
Honestly, the ‘Friend Zone’ is a myth. It is something that entitled people (usually males) have invented to explain why somebody may not feel romantically attracted to them. It blames the other person, implying that they have ‘chosen’ to put you in this terrible place (but really, it shouldn’t be so terrible being pals with somebody if you really do care about them) and it also has this underlying air of good old-fashioned misogyny. ‘What, this bitch doesn’t want to have sex with me? But I’m such a GOOD FRIEND!’
Seriously guys and gals, if you find yourself trapped in this so-called Friend Zone, the best thing that you can do for everybody is walk as far away in the opposite direction as you can before you both get hurt. Don’t convince yourself that you’ll eventually get the much coveted ‘prize’ of the person in question. All you’ll do is get yourself way too deep into this faux friendship and hurt everybody.