Get balls of Steele Vagina… well kind of


Who doesn’t want a vagina that has the combined force of Super Man and Iron Man, Indestructible and can crush anything that tries to penetrate it.No… me neither. But I do want a vagina that can hold itself rather than me having to hold it up. It was whilst working at Ann summers 8 years ago that I learnt about the power of Kegel exercises. Initially my opinion was I am 18, my vagina is tight and everything has an invisible force field that keeps it upright. Anyway, working in a sex shop teaches you a lot and with sex being the main and only form of conversation your opinions change drastically. Apparently that age old saying, use it or lose it applies to the vagina walls, if you dont excercise it you can have the following problems:

1- Watersports on yourself, I think not.

2- Needing to buy a bra for your vagina or a suspension unit to keep it held together

But really that wasn’t my main intention for going ahead and purchasing one. Apparently you have a higher chance of orgasming. Now anything to get me to cum before a guy which is within 2 mins is worth my money.

Of course you can easily do your kegels on your own without the ball, you know walking around clenching, sitting in the train clenching, at a dinner date clenching or at a meeting clenching and no one will know. But what is the point, I can easily exercise at home and not go to the gym but I don’t because the gym is better. Besides, depending on how sensitive your vagina is you can easily get off with all the vibrating and shaking and gravity trying to pull it down.

The vagina is a great piece of artwork for those that admire art and has a great mechanical system for those that admire mechanics. When you place the kegels inside you, gravity will pull it down but then your vagina will say ‘NOW WAIT A MINUTE’ and keep it in. Now, not sure if this works with everything, but please don’t try anything such as spoons or else you will have spoons falling out of you leaving a trail of spoons leading directly to your vagina (Nymphomania, great film must watch).

So after some convincing I got my first kegel ball. Each ball is the size of a ping pong ball and you either use both or one. I went with both, don’t really like the feeling of having balls hanging between my legs. I popped it in and went shopping. Yep, that’s right I went to Sainsburys to but my weekly food. Did anyone know that I had two balls inserted inside me, nope, no alarms went off and it certainly didn’t fall out. The worst situation was running for the bus which gives you a sudden shock that you do have two balls playing with you internally.

Swoon get a grip was created by sexpert Julie peasgood. The design of the balls isn’t girly, you know with the colour pink.  But weirdly enough the design of this ball doesn’t scream sex toy or I want to place this in my vagina. I was quite hesitant so I slathered it up with Love honeys water based lube which did the job. The first ball was easy enough but the second was slightly more uncomfortable but I managed.  Initially you do feel the ball jiggling whether you can call it erotic it’s debateable,  for me it is a pleasant feeling similar to butterflies but in your VGG ,that’s about it. I had read that you forget that the ball inside you, which you do if you sitting still for the whole day. But since I decided to test these out and go about my usual day I knew they were in there. I mean how can you forget you have two balls sitting comfortably in your vagina. This is a cool ball for beginners and those trying to test out. I also think its good for people who like weighty toys because it does feel a tad heavier than my other, which I will get into now.

Lelo Luna Bead which I received from Ann Summers  is my favourite jiggle ball of all time, it doesn’t over jiggle, because do I really want to have an orgasm in a middle of a meeting. You get given two balls for different weights, making it suitable for everyone. These are some really good investment balls, they are pricey but will last you for all the stages of your vagina; never been touched, just pushed out another baby and just trying to keep it together. There was little of the let me try another position because inserting is so uncomfortable. Regardless I would suggest using a lube, I particularly like Love honey enjoy water based lubricant.

To recap, Swoon get a grip is your basic jiggle ball, for those of you who just want to get the job done. Now for those that, want something extra like an extra ball then Lelo Luna beads will be your exerciser for life. Both of these come in a pouch to keep in nice and safe away from prying fingers.

Can I feel a massive difference with this nope. But I know in the long run, my Vagina will be intact, my muscles will be toilet trained and not assume everywhere is the toilet and hopefully I will be in the guinness world record for the woman that cums the quickest and hardest.

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