This is a topic that a majority of females I know have been confused about. They meet a man who they get on with like a house on fire; he’s handsome, treats them well and has a lot going for him. Everything is perfect except for one thing, he wants to take the next step and have sex. This is where a moral dilemma develops for a lot of women who want it just as bad as he does. They may even let things get a bit heated, but always manage to hold back from doing what they believe will make him think less of them and consequently fool themselves into thinking he will appreciate them even more when they do eventually give in.
I am going to give a male perspective on this subject. What I am going to reveal may come as a surprise to some of you because this subject is not as clear cut as you may think. The common misconception is that if a woman sleeps with a man after only a few dates he will think she is a bit slack, but like with a lot of other myths about the dating game, that is not always the case. What also happens in some cases is that the woman holds back, waiting for the right time and ends up losing out on a potential partner. It is all well and good waiting for a month or two but there are some extreme women who expect young, fit, men at their sexual peak to wait months for sex and let’s be honest here, even the most patient of men have their limits. So let’s look a bit deeper in to this and look at the pros and cons of being a woman who holds back or a woman with fewer inhibitions.
Why some women hold back from him.
Sleeping with a guy after one or a few dates is sometimes frowned upon by friends and society in general. It’s a scenario that I am sure is pretty familiar to some of you and you may have even made the decision to limit access or keep things tight down below, in order to make him wait. Ensuring that the man you are potentially going to sleep with is really in to you and not just playing the role of “Casanova” for a little while until he gets what he wants. Unfortunately your lack of self-control leads to sex earlier than planned and suddenly those lovely two hour conversations on the phone turn into awkward two minute ones, where it’s clear he doesn’t want to be on the phone and has every excuse in the book covered as to why he is too busy to come and see you. So your first instinct was correct, the guy was just a dog after a bone.
Due to this you ensure that the next guy you take a liking to will NOT get easy access. You are going to make any potential boyfriend work really hard to show you he deserves it. There’s nothing wrong with that way of thinking, if some of us guys are serious about you we will respect your decision and wait. Plenty of us have done it but results can be mixed. Some men feel they’ve waited ages and it was not worth it, while others say it was well worth the wait. But please if you are going to give us a strict timescale before we get anywhere close to fornicating with you then you have to put it in context. If you are seeing your partner almost every day during that period and even sleeping in the same bed it’s very different to seeing him once or twice a week on dates at the cinema or in a restaurant. So don’t be surprised to see a man who was really in to you become frustrated and get it from somewhere else. You may lose out on a perfectly good guy just because of a rule that in reality made little difference to how much he liked you. What is even more likely is that you’ll still get a man who has no intention of staying around but will pretend he is in to you, wait around, get sex from someone else during that time until you are ready and you’ll be none the wiser thinking you met the right one who was extremely patient but in reality he sold you a big lie.
Girls who want to have fun.
Now ladies, if you are at a stage in life where you are willing to have sex on the first date, then you shouldn’t let those who look down at you mislead you into thinking that you will never get into a relationship with a guy. We men are hypocrites. We always want sex straight away due to us being horny devils. We will let you believe that only “no good women” give it up on the first date. We want our potential wife to hold back, tease us, make us chase a little bit. So when we do finally get sex we know we worked hard for it but truth be told plenty of us have had sex on the first night and have gone on to make the lady in question the “wife”. Once we fall for a woman, we can get sex on the first night or after three months it doesn’t make a difference to our feelings for you.
However it does not mean you have a free pass to open your legs to every new guy you meet and think he will still make you number one. The other side of the coin for those of you who give it out early is the lack of the chase can make a man lose interest very quickly. You’re probably confused; you aren’t the only ones men are too. Probably because in the back of our mind we think that if she gave it to us so easy then there must be plenty other men who got it easy and no man wants to think that his woman is a “local bike”.
So what conclusions can we gain from this? Like I said this subject is far from clear cut. The truth is from my experience, it’s pretty clear there is no set rule to when the time is right to give us men sex. Men are simple creatures. We either like you or we don’t. Holding back doesn’t guarantee you will meet a good man, while giving it out early doesn’t guarantee he will think you are easy and therefore not worthy of being a long term partner. I’m not trying to confuse the female population out there, just trying to let you know that setting rules very rarely works in this game. The best advice I would give you is do what makes you feel most comfortable and go with your gut feeling.