I don’t want a boyfriend, and that’s okay!
When I see a dark skinned, six foot male skulking through a bar, I am drawn in. Tall, muscly men have power over me. I can’t resist. Their short, stubbly hair, dark mysterious eyes and Trey Songz-esque smile makes me melt. As I have grown into a woman, I have come to know that ‘my type’ tends to hold a cocky side.
I discovered this on my second date with Aaron which was less than ideal. He’d asked me to see a film – of course, I’d love to. He opened my door when he picked me up and then we pulled up at his house…okay. So I kept my cool but when we went in it was less than tidy. He warmed me up some curry and we watched Mr Bean’s Holiday. Firstly, just typing that made me cringe and secondly, we were both way above the age to be watching a children’s film. Minutes later, we were in his bedroom watching The Jeremy Kyle Show. I found the activities that he had planned majorly bizarre. And then, the inevitable happened. A little touching, a little stoking, a little kissing and then I gave him an amazing blowjob, or so he said. We never spoke again.
My closest friend Zara seemed to have love figured at a young age. She met, her now husband, Luke at university. Her previous beau Josh had been tall and skinny with dark hair yet Luke is a blonde muscular sweetheart who is a similar height to her. I remember our three hour phone calls where we tried to make clarity out of Luke and what his game was and whether Zara was even attracted to him. Initially, she wasn’t. The visuals of him made her want to take a shower and his constant sober declarations of his undying love for her made him come off desperate to say the least. Men came and went, as they do at that age, but Luke was still persistent. He kept on and on and on. Out of sympathy she went on a date with him. A pity date. Nandos and cinema. Weeks later they were still hangin’ out and, now, hookin’ up.
Just like a wart, he grew on her. His personality proved to be more like hers than she had first realised. And just like the wart, he became a part of her character.
This made me wonder, should I change my type?
I do want a man who takes me on romantic dates, even if it means going to Nando’s. If I want a man to treat me with respect and not just want to jump into bed with me – I think I should give up the Trey Songz smile which acts as a poison to women, to women like me. Aaron could get anything from a woman because of that smile: a blowjob, a KFC and even a pair of Jordans for Valentines Day.
When I came back from Kos with Zara, her husband was waiting there for her and my other girlfriends’ partners were also there at the arrivals gate. Everyone paired off. I was alone. Perhaps I am willing to compromise to find the one. Maybe I really am willing to compromise physical attraction for an attraction that will blossom.