Giving and receiving, that’s what a relationship is based on, right? I give oral, so I should receive it. Shouldn’t I?
Okay ladies, I know sometimes it may feel awkward demanding things in bed, but when a man’s fingers are the thing at work, sometimes a nudge for him to go down is just what he needs to point him in the right direction. To me, it doesn’t matter whether you have sex on the third or the thirteenth date, I’ve got a try before you buy rule. If you don’t like the way he sexes you, then you’re likely to go off him, despite the amount of advice you give him.
My third date with Adam, a personal trainer. Things had quickly escalated and we were under the sheets of my single bed. All I can say is that afterwards we were both very satisfied despite the fact we hadn’t had sex. We both used our mouths, that’s why. However, it did come to me as shock that he was so eager to eat down there when in previous relationships, men have rarely returned the favour.
I namely speak of my four month fling with Oli, an MA student. He was so keen for me to perform oral and when I asked for him to reciprocate he seemed disgusted by the idea. It was often a quick half hearted attempt to get me off and when he didn’t get me off, I didn’t get on top. It seemed after our four month fling, hundreds of blowjobs and several attempts at him giving me head, the relationship had failed. One day, fed up and pissed off, he asked for head. I said no. I was sick of doing it and so sick of his constant want of sex. I stormed out of his flat, shoes in my hand and makeup running down my face. Anyway, long story short, we never spoke again.
It got me wondering, why didn’t he want to please me? Was it the thought of below the skin action with his mouth or the fact that he just didn’t enjoy doing it? Well, if we were basing it on self-satisfaction he would never have gotten a blowjob despite the fact it feels amazing knowing you’re doing such a good job. The tongue is the strongest muscle in everyone’s body. It’s even stronger than the penis so, to me, it makes sense that a man would want to pleasure a woman as much as he could, getting all the spots and making her experience, thus his experience, more pleasurable. Why is it okay for a man to ask for a blowie yet it seems strange, to some men, that women also ask for head? Is it the thought of doing it wrong? Too much tongue? Not enough tongue? Being too rough?
Well, my only solution to this problem is that we women need to start being more demanding in bed. Guide the men to your spots, that’s the only way they can learn what you like. We need to take a stand to being just the giver, we need to be the receiver. Yes, each man may be different, and some will be more willing than others. After all, shouldn’t every man be willing to please his woman?