Every spring there is an influx of two things; firstly, everything becomes pretty and pink and secondly, there are those who moan and bitch non –stop. Sometimes about those who strip off at the first sight of the sun, and occasionally about the continuously, recycled floral trend. I am utterly confused by this anti-spring attitude. I instantly think of tumbling locks, fluttery lashes, tiny denim shorts and blush coloured pouts. I am one of these annoying naked people and proud. I will be shivering in my summer dress, braids in my hair with a giant floppy hat, in a pub garden somewhere – clasping my fruity drink.
At the first hint of blossoming trees my pastel pedicure will be out, with my lilac toes peeping from my open toe shoes. Every item I wear until autumn will be a shade of sorbet, the ultimate colour of tastiness – ensuring I crave a cone of raspberry sorbet instead of a fattening 99. I might sound sickeningly sweet, but girls are made from sugar and spice and all things nice and these are the months to enjoy that! Join me in looking at everything through rose tinted glasses and follow my easy points on how to handle to mishaps of spring.
How to handle:
The women stripping off at the first glimpse of blue sky.
Be grateful that by summer we will all have tanned legs and won’t blind you with our snow white, reflective pins. You’re welcome.
The evil curse of hay fever.
The sneezing I have no cure for, but this is exactly what cat eye sunglasses were invented for, hide your streaming eyes in a large pair of blacked out Chloe’s.
The inevitable tedious track brought out by Pitbull, sure to become the summer anthem.
It won’t be long till our ears are burning to a song of his that will be scarily catchy. Dance along straight away, it will win you over eventually and nobody wants to be a wall flower while others embrace the cheese and sing along.
The men who have not yet heard of waxing or working out, but strut around without their top on anyway.
These types of men always make your own boyfriend look like Tyson Beckford or Ryan Gosling, turn the other way and thank god that you pulled someone hotter. If you are a singleton, don’t lose hope. There will be plenty of fitties to perve on, you just may have to wait till June.
Despite the burnt BBQ food and the overload of flesh on show from those wearing too little too early, let spring add a spring to your step and embrace some positive thinking!
*Photo credit to Crowshaw photography