I’ve spent the last few years in a relationship and recently found it all thrown into the madness. Thankfully now my life is a little more settled but during this time, I found myself worrying about dating and getting back into the swing of things. I was worried about something that should be so easy!
Let’s admit it, we’ve all done it. We’ve all played some form of game in relationships, whether that’s playing hard to get or not texting back for three days on purpose. We’re game players, dating and relationships have turned into a battlefield.
Well I’m here to tell you to put a stop to it. We’re torturing ourselves. With the rise of social media, relationships and dating has become harder and harder. Eventually, all of this game playing is going to get tiring, so here are my reasons for why you should keep it simple.
The Text Back
So you’ve been on a date, you really enjoyed yourself and think it ended on a high note. However, when do you get in touch again? What looks too desperate and what looks like we’re not bothered? Well my answer is do what the hell you want. If you want to text your date about that cool documentary you watched, or that amaaaaazing burger you just ate, then do it. If you’re sat there over-analysing everything about the text then chances are you should have already sent it.
This goes for the early stages of relationships too, when you’re in that ‘are we or aren’t we’ in a relationship phase. Worrying about why he hasn’t text back for a few hours can drive you insane. So stop. The guy is probably just busy, he might be eating, chit chatting or just out enjoying himself. When he does text you back, don’t you dare spend a few hours wondering when to reply, just do it.
If replying within ten minutes or so really does make you look desperate, then I’m guilty as charged. I don’t know about you, but I don’t have time to do all of this worrying! If I want to text someone then I’ll do it, if I’m busy, I’m busy. If your partner/date/love interest/whatever thinks it’s desperate, then that’s their problem.
I think as a whole, social media was invented to drive us mad. I could spend hours looking through Instagram and Facebook, scrolling down newsfeeds feeling bad about my own life. When in reality, social media is just a snapshot of our life, it’s like a photo-shopped version of reality, only putting in the best bits.
So when you’re dating, stop trying too hard on Facebook. All those selfies and Instagram shots are great and all, but don’t spend hours laboriously going over to check your likes and comments to see if your date has said anything. I’m a firm believer in what my Mum once told me “If they’re spending all their time on Facebook saying they’re having a good time, chances are they are not having a good time” So remember that.
This goes for all aspects of a relationship, the dating and the break up. If you find yourself in the midst of heartbreak, get off all social media. Don’t stalk, don’t sit and worry about who they’re adding. From personal experience I know this can drive you mad. You know what’s less attractive than a bad filter? Paranoia.
Calling Miss Marple
When you’ve first started dating and you’re not totally exclusive, it’s tempting to do a bit of investigating to find out if they’re dating anyone else. Well stop. Not only will this make you seem a bit weird, it also can lead to that paranoid thing I was talking about earlier. If you’re having genuine paranoid thoughts, try to think of two positive and realistic outcomes instead of that one huge negative one. Stay optimistic!
Let’s make life simpler and make relationships fun. Dating shouldn’t be hard, you should be able to enjoy your time with your other half, so why actively make it hard for yourself?
What are your top dating tips? Do you play games on dates? Let me know in the comments!